As a father with a gay child, it crushes my soul to think that there was a time when kids her age had no one to talk to. It all started with conversations. Hard, but constructive and meaningful conversations that had the intent to design a narrative that respected and accepted everyone’s feelings and choices. It wasn’t easy. For many, it was painful because the change that needed to happen was within themselves. Body image or bodyweight is now beginning to take its turn as something as a society we are beginning to understand needs to be inclusive.

I would say right now we are at the early stage of the curve. It is now common to see all shapes and sizes used in the media for various types of advertising. It’s great and about time. This is step one, ensuring we learn to love and accept everyone for who they are with zero judgements. What this is not doing is giving us the language skills we require to talk in an inclusive manner. 

I can share how challenging it is, even for a person whose entire career has been in health, well-being and fitness. I watched one of our children gain weight over the last 2 years and I said nothing, I just loved her every single day for who she is. What happened was she spiralled deeper and deeper, gaining 50lbs over a 6 month period. It’s not just the weight that spiralled either, her mood and willingness to do things with family and friends disappeared. She resorted to Netflix and giant T-shirts as the answer. School was another major struggle. She was in a constant state of stress and anxiety. Finally, she broke down in tears (in the kitchen, it’s always the kitchen) She had weighed herself and in her words, was disgusted with what she saw. I told her that there was never a moment when I had seen her as strong as she was right then. I told her I loved her and validated every emotion she shared with me.

 It has been several months now and she is an entirely different kid. Happy, upbeat, laughing constantly and most impressive, focused on school, managing her time and improving her grades. She is working out at our facility regularly and has asked me more questions about fitness and health in the last 2 months than I could have ever imagined. 

This story has a positive ending for sure, but the 2 years of watching your child become depressed and not love themselves is why I’m writing this. What frightens me most is how self-perceived excessive weight impacts our children’s mental health. I say self-perceived because the number doesn’t matter what matters is the mindset towards oneself and behaviours that matter. 

What tools do I lack where it took 2 years of pain for change to happen? Or is watching someone you love suffer a necessary part of the process? How much sooner would she have opened up if society didn’t make people feel bad for their body image? I know how fortunate my life is, we have the resources, we own a training facility and have the education to be there when she needs us but what about all the other kids? 

Yes, accepting her along the way was great and it provided the foundation for her to come to us, but what can we do to get ahead of the pain?  I don’t have the answers, but I know I want to talk about it and get more and more folks talking about it because change is good.

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